Fashionista Returns with Gramma-ista: The up and coming meets the down and gone!
Hello, my darlings, my lovelies of the Sooner Nation! It’s so good to be back at the Crimson and Cream Runway that is the Palace on the Prairie.
Since I last saw you I’ve been traipsing all over the globe, spreading fairy dust and fashion advice whenever there is a need.
And let me tell you, my Sweetie Pies, Honeybunches, is it ever needed. What has happened to the fashion world?! Nothing that hasn’t happened in the past, I assure you. All fashion faux pas that have disgraced the world before are destined to return!
To prove my point this week I am housing my beloved mother, the madre of all the mode that is me who has come to assist.
I decided that we would travel back into the past, to a place where our adored boys of the gridiron last battled and triumphed over the Georgia foes of the coming weekend. But, after doing some research, of this we shall say no more. After all, tomorrow is a new day.
So Mama-ista suggested we go back to the year she was joined in Stylish Matrimony to the Fashion Father who for some reason, only wanted to be called Father. There is no accounting for taste. Here, in these halcyon days of yore, we shall compare three fashions of then and now.
Without further ado, let’s be off!
Now, however, we must be controlled yet care free. Who cares if we are girdled as long as all jiggling is under control? Unlike Jell-o, the no jiggle rule still applies.
- The Girdle is Mandatory (No Exceptions)
According to Mumsy, a young woman should “never underestimate the importance of your girdle.” Even if you were a tiny teenager, you were expected to strap yourself into heavy-duty elastic shapewear. The goal wasn’t just to look slim; it was a matter of moral fortitude. A soft, un-girdled posture meant you were “collapsing” into your clothes, which supposedly signaled a lack of discipline
- Barbie’s Tiny Diet Book: “Don’t Eat!
In 1963, Mattel released the “Barbie Baby-Sits” fashion ensemble. Alongside a tiny rotary phone and a baby, the outfit came with a miniature book titled How to Lose Weight. The actual advice printed on the back of the toy book? “Don’t eat!”
Now? Heavens to Murgatroyd, ladies of the fashion world, never starve yourself for fashion!
Yes, we must keep our form and stay in some sort of shape but what that shape actually is must be up to you. If you’re happy round, square or hexagonal, stay that way. However, please don’t make a pig of yourself in front of others. And please, please, please, while dining with others don’t primly say that you want nothing and then proceed to be seen taking items from others plates.
Your fashionista gasps at the mere thought! Be sneaky enough so that others don’t catch sight of you taking the truffle fries from Auntie Margaret’s platter. I mean, raaaallly!
- Double-Stacking False Eyelashes
As the “Mod” London look began taking over, beauty advice shifted from “subdued” to “theatrical spectacle.” Fashion columnists advised the boldest young women not to stop at one pair of false eyelashes, but to “lay a second strip atop the first, doubling the fringe.”
The advice noted that your eyelids would feel incredibly heavy with every blink, but a proper 1963 woman should be “unafraid of a little spectacle.”
Now, though I agree with the idea of being “unafraid of a little spectacle” let’s be … honest. This is completely ridiculous!
Speaking of spectacles what if you wore cute little vision aids and this absurd lash setup? You would constantly think a spider was crawling from your hair line. Though even today some clueless “influencers” believe the bigger the eye frame, the better your fashion sense. Horsefeathers, say I! (Though you should never look to find your feathers from a horse. They are scarcer than hen’s teeth and don’t get me started on those.)
Sometimes I believe these ladies really want to literally take flight with this fashion fancy instead of staying grounded in runway reality.
Now, although it’s been a hoot, I really must go. My Mumsy-ista and I are off to sail the Caribbean in style and bring back news of Cozumel and Honduras. Until next week my dears.
Oh, yes, and BOOMER SOONER!
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