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Adventures of Soonerguy - page 4

The Adventures of Soonerguy

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Corn Maze Trouble Makes Return
 
Last time on the Adventures of Soonerguy – Soonergal… er… guy was lipstick deep in trying to locate the Golden Streak. He walks daintily through the Victoria’s Secret Bra sale in Sooner Fashion Mall when the Soonerphone rings resoundingly from his utility belt.
 
Hurriedly, he answers, cutting off the Pride of Oklahoma’s ringtone rendition of Boomer Sooner through his mobile device!
 
“Soonerguy. How can I assist you and/or fight for truth, justice and the Sooner way?”
 
“Soonerguy!”, the voice is unmistakably that of Farmer Vincent, the kindly, old gentleman that runs the corn maze, pumpkin patch, and agricultural tourist attraction Corn to be Wild.
 
“You gotta come quick,” he cries “We got a heap o’ trouble in the corn maze!”

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The Adventures of Soonerguy

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Last time on the Adventures of Soonerguy, our Crimson and Cream Crusader was chin deep in cheesy deliciousness, trapped in an abandoned Swiss & Cheddar mine.  How could he possibly overcome such tangy terribleness?

Meanwhile, in the swanky district of Norman, Oklahoma, a high society debutante with curly golden locks is just exiting the haute couture clothing shop, The Bougie Boutique, when this happens:

“Eeeeeek!”

Minutes later in a less pretentious shopping center at Pennywise Plaza:

“Aaaaaaahh!”

And then again further down the street at the second-hand store Thrifty Boy Floyd:

“What the Ralph?!”

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The Adventures of Soonerguy

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After a quiet summer of well-deserved rest, Soonerguy, that staunch stalwart of justice, is summoned from his secret sanctuary, secluded somewhere surreptitiously on the meticulously manicured campus of the University of Oklahoma. 

The horrific honk of the Sooner distress signal has been sent via the Emergency Sooner Alert System installed on the Sooner Super Computer in Soonerguy’s inner sanctum:

An abandoned Swiss and Cheddar mine has collapsed, trapping unsuspecting Sooner fans inside!

Were they out for a leisurely stroll through the derelict den? 

Were they seeking adventure in all the wrong places? 

Were they overcome by a hunger for some tangy comestibles and were seduced by the surviving scent of the cheesy aroma?

Did they hanker for a hunka, a slab a slice, a chunka, hanker for a hunka cheese? Dairy try and help?  

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