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The Adventures of Soonerguy

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Previously on the Adventures of Soonerguy: 

“Muahahaha!”

“Eeeeeek!”

“Ow! My eye!”

Our Adventurous Avenger (not to be confused with those other guys) was completely overcome with cats, corn and contemptuous contestants of the toady type.  He was covered in fur, grits and warts!  He was facing a veritable rogues gallery of foes: The Wildcat, King Corn, and The Toad! 

Luckily, Soonerguy is well-skilled in Sooner-jitsu, an ancient martial art known only by Soonerguy himself and the inner circle of the secret cabal of devotees within the notorious Sooner Skull and Bones.  With a double tuck jump and a flying scissor kick to a whiskered face one of his foes flies backward!

“Jump back, Toad,” Soonerguy commands, as the rotten ribbiter springs forward to land at Soonerguy’s feet.  But the beady-eyed baddie is no longer looking at him. He’s glaring over our hero’s shoulder. Soonerguy turns to face the new nemesis behind him.

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The Adventures of Soonerguy

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In the tiny village of Toadlick Township, a special event is held once a year. An athletic affair accentuating amphibian arts that attracts comers from all corners of the tri-town area.
 
The Toadlick Toad Twitch and Twerk Tournament. (No frogs allowed due to that undignified incident of ’93).

This year’s gala is turning out to be the best ever with little Myron Moroni’s pet toad, Tildy, set to dance and leap her way into a three-peat. Myron’s mother, Myrtle has been helping her baby boy prep himself and his pet polliwog just as she has for the last 53 years.
 
But this year in this small square of the Sooner Nation, trouble is brewing. A newcomer is threatening to overtake the competition.
 

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The Adventures of Soonerguy

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When we last spied the Crimson Crusader he was about to be flattened by the fat flat foot of his fearsome foe, King Korn!
 
“He seems so big,” Soonerguy muses to himself.  “But you know what they say, ‘The bigger the elbow, the harder it is to fit in your ear.’ But I guess it’s easier to lick!”
 
Just as he utters these confusing words, the sultry sound of a female voice answers: “Sounds like you could use some help.  Care to mix metaphors with me, Sooner-boy?”

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