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Adventures of Soonerguy

The Adventures of Soonerguy

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When last we saw Soonerguy, he was battling the deep dark despair that comes with the full realization that life is like a broken pencil: pointless.  And, moreover, everything in the universe is doomed to die, much like the hopes and dreams of a college football season.  
 
And he was under attack by nefarious super villains around every corner!
 
Battered and bruised, he seeks the refuge of his sanctum sanctorum, his fortress of solitude, his safe haven, the Sooner Cave, located in a hidden location somewhere on the campus of the University of Oklahoma. 
 
The Sooner Cave: the one place where Soonerguy might find solace.  Where his faithful companion, Sooner-Dog, is always a source of good cheer.  Where he can gorge on Cheese Doodles and drown his sorrows in kegs of root beer. 
 
But just as our hangdog and heartsick hero arrives at the door of his domicile he’s greeted by an unexpected sign hanging from the knocker!  Written in garish neon orange paint, it reads: “Home of Cowboy Guy”!

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The Adventures of Soonerguy

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The early morning air hangs heavy over the Blue Ridge Mountains of West Virginia.  Crickets still sing dimly in the dark over the quiet murmur of Lake Puskarhootchie.  Birds chirp.  Frogs croak.  But suddenly another sound breaks the calm atmosphere.

“Whoop! Whoop!” 

This is no whooping crane, nor is it a West Virginia Highway Patrol Car pulling over a rowdy tailgater dragging his muffler from the back of his 1979 Chevy 4×4 pickup.

It’s much more like the call of the fabled Bigfoot or “Sasquatch” resonating resoundingly over the landscape.  

“Whoop! Whoop!” it repeats.  The birds, the frogs, and the crickets go silent.  Then we hear the tremulous reply,

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The Adventures of Soonerguy

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Somewhere, in the deep vastness of outer space, something hurtles through the cosmos, past the Orion Nebula, through the Andromeda galaxy, heading inexorably in the direction of the Milky Way, in which nestles our own solar system, planet Earth and, inevitably, ‘Merica.  

Across the endless void, it makes its way to the Sooner Nation itself, home of all that’s right and good in the universe! 

Soonerguy, unaware of all this, sits at home in his secret underground headquarters on the campus of the University of Oklahoma, lounging in his La-z-Sooner chair, watching old Orange Bowl games on VHS, and eating vast quantities of Cheese Doodles.  

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