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Adventures of Soonerguy - page 2

The Adventures of Soonerguy

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Somewhere, in the deep vastness of outer space, something hurtles through the cosmos, past the Orion Nebula, through the Andromeda galaxy, heading inexorably in the direction of the Milky Way, in which nestles our own solar system, planet Earth and, inevitably, ‘Merica.  

Across the endless void, it makes its way to the Sooner Nation itself, home of all that’s right and good in the universe! 

Soonerguy, unaware of all this, sits at home in his secret underground headquarters on the campus of the University of Oklahoma, lounging in his La-z-Sooner chair, watching old Orange Bowl games on VHS, and eating vast quantities of Cheese Doodles.  

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The Adventures of Soonerguy

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Episode 8
Halloween Treat: A Wind in Need is Not a Friend Indeed

Last we saw Soonerguy, our intrepid hero was, was… give me a sec.  I really can’t remember, hang on while I look it up…  (I hate bye weeks).  Oh, yeah… 

Last we saw Soonerguy, our intrepid hero was facing a naked bird.  Fearsome fowl, indeed!

The Crimson Crusader had finally given up on the Jaybird’s return and retreated to the Sooner Cave, deep within Sooner Country, to contemplate his next step, his wardrobe choices, life, the universe and everything. Standing at his Sooner Chemistry Set (only $99.99 at the Campus Corner Store across the street), he mixes two volatile liquids together.  The red liquid quickly changes colors.  First purple.  Then green.  Then Orange!

After detailed calculations, he intensely studies the test tube in his hand, his goggles fogging, he frowns doubtfully at the observed result.

“43!? That doesn’t seem right,” he mumbles, wiping the red slime that has formed on his right hand on his white lab coat.

Thump! Thump!

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The Adventures of Soonerguy

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Previously on the Adventures of Soonerguy: 

“Muahahaha!”

“Eeeeeek!”

“Ow! My eye!”

Our Adventurous Avenger (not to be confused with those other guys) was completely overcome with cats, corn and contemptuous contestants of the toady type.  He was covered in fur, grits and warts!  He was facing a veritable rogues gallery of foes: The Wildcat, King Corn, and The Toad! 

Luckily, Soonerguy is well-skilled in Sooner-jitsu, an ancient martial art known only by Soonerguy himself and the inner circle of the secret cabal of devotees within the notorious Sooner Skull and Bones.  With a double tuck jump and a flying scissor kick to a whiskered face one of his foes flies backward!

“Jump back, Toad,” Soonerguy commands, as the rotten ribbiter springs forward to land at Soonerguy’s feet.  But the beady-eyed baddie is no longer looking at him. He’s glaring over our hero’s shoulder. Soonerguy turns to face the new nemesis behind him.

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